It’s been a long time since I’ve fired up the blog. Fair warning: Oversharing ahead…
A friend recently commented, “Can I have your life?” on a relaxed Instagram photo I posted and I realized how I am quick to post the happy, fun stuff and how I rarely mention the crap. And I wonder, thanks to social media, how many of us incorrectly think everyone else is trucking along doing just great. I guess for all of us, the struggle is real.
As part of the Security Clearance renewal process required for my job, I spent the last few weeks completing a tedious form outlining my last seven years. Clicking boxes confirming that as far as the U.S. government is concerned, six of my seven immediate family members are deceased really, really depressed me. That, in conjunction with my sister Marcia’s recent birthday, and my looming birthday – the first of both without her – are really just kicks in the gut.
Last night, I attended a Jacksonville Symphony performance that included, of all things, Flight of the Bumblebee, which is the punchline to a convoluted inside joke only Marcia and I shared. When they started playing and I couldn’t call her to laugh, my heart broke even harder than it does every damn day.
This morning, when the alarm sounded signaling time for the weekly long run with my group I literally pulled the covers over my head and hid.
But as a slave to my FitBit and a Sun Guilt sufferer (if it’s nice outside, I am unable to chill on the couch no matter how hard I want to….) off I went to try to make up for the missed run. (Let’s not be crazy: I wasn’t about to run six solo miles. But I can walk and walk and walk like nobody’s business.)
Cool things I saw:
- Fisherman coaxing a stingray back into the surf
- Small wedding (Hey! I got married on a sunny Saturday Morning at the beach, too!)
- Tons of surfers
- “The Poles” at Hannah park – I’ve never walked that far north before.
- A proposal! I snapped a photo from far away and waited what seemed like the appropriate time to ask if they wanted me to text it to them when their families popped out of nowhere and everyone started to cheer and cry, so I just moved along.
There’s no great moral to this post. I feel better than I did when the alarm went off, and I have fun stuff lined up this afternoon and evening. Some days are great. Some days suck. But you wouldn’t “want my life” any more than I’d be willing to trade it.